Dad thinks his new wife comes into my room to help me with my math homework each evening. In reality, she just wants someone cute to look at while she jerks off.
When people first learn I have three older sisters, they tell me how awful my childhood must have been. In reality, I couldn't have asked for anything better.
Our parents had two sets of twins: two boys, and then two girls. Because my brother and I were older, friends and family always thought we were mean to our sisters and bullying them, but in reality that couldn't be further from the truth.
