Please enjoy my repertoire o[f] really good jokes while admiring my various lumps. This is either a really good idea, or the worst idea I've ever had. What do you think?
Oh, you're a Doctor? Great, I've been looking everywhere but it's so hard to get appointments, lucky me to find one on the train right? Anyway, I'm sure I felt a lump a few days ago. Like, it could be cancer so please check it through carefully.