Being mostly straight sucks sometimes. All the girls I want to date run away in fear when they see it, while the gay boys I let service me beg me to pound their face harder.
I know I shouldn't have waited till the night of our wedding... But I really didn't want you running away once you found out how depraved and controlling I really am. Don't worry, this collar is going to look great on you from now on, just accept it.
