[You pluck your chest, your legs, your arms, your cock is surrounded by trimmed short hairs; everyone knows you maintain this for your girlfriend, Labienus. But for whom, Labienus, do you maintain your ass hairs?] Martial’s Epigrams, 2.62 1st Century AD
My roommate forced me to get Tinder so I can meet guys because she's tired of listening to me masturbate all the time. Turns out having your profile pic just be you spreading your ass gets your account banned...