Sir, since losing my pianist to a falling cask of Armagnac (the dearer victim of the tragedy), my luncheons have wanted for diversion. I have thus dispatched several staff to the musical tutelage of one Mme. Chasteté Buisson-Épais of Châtillon-sur-Loire,
Sir, my staff have of late shirked several duties due to complaints of hysteria. As dear Dr. Hartschäft occasionally strains to honour constant demand for treatment, he has thus instructed the staff in the art. The practise has been most effective thus fa
Sir, Traditionally, as head of the household, it would be myself who would punish the staff for misdemeanours. In this modern age, my housekeeper has introduced a new hierarchy, which I take care to study at great length.
Sir, A Gentleman's micturation is a troublesome and time consuming activity. One evening, having consumed my fifth or sixth glass of port, I stumbled upon a solution. I have staff sitting around doing nothing, and they can damn well piss for me. I have en
Sir, Although I have had the mains water for several years now, I confess to preferring the taste from the Broad Street pump. I therefore send Dolores out twice a day with a large jug. As this is hot strenuous work, I have instructed her to wear simple, l
Sir, In our modern times we must be aware of new risks to life for servants. I have recently read a most enlightening medical book showing treatments for those suffering from miasmas, electrical fluids or overwork. I have instigated practice sessions twic
Sir, My new maid Ada is employed under-rate - ('tis only proper for a new servant). But, as a considerate master, I have promised quadruple wages and a penny for coal if she can lick her fundamentals. She reports to me weekly with updates on her progress.
Sir, I recently dismissed another maid for burning my breeches by placing them too close to the fire to dry (and I do not wish to discuss her "traditional" sans-soap laundering methods). I have found a superior maid who has most ably demonstrated the appr
Sir, upon visiting my philanthropist friend Dr Brownlee Dipper, I noted the sheer number of staff he employs. "It is a means out of poverty for them" said he. I at once rushed home and implemented his altruistic scheme. Here are 4 of my new maids, gainful
Sir, In investigating the disappearance of my finest Sauternes I found the culprits, my butler and scullery-maid, in flagrante delicto. I offered a full pardon of their mischief if they agreed to hold their licentious pose for a daguerrotype for my wife.
Sir, Visiting the colonies on a fact finding trip in search of restorative remedies derived from local herbs. I return in good spirits to find my maid Ada under the evil influence of laudanum for toothache. I position her in the recovery position of my ow
Sir, I found my staff in what appeared an act of Satanic devilry. My maid did explain they were cleaning the chimney.All Hallows eve is a traditional time for doing this as sprites and imps do assist. Satisfied,I made myself comfortable with a large brand
Sir, my Maid Peggy suggests that one day, Women might equally use bicycles. I countered that it was not at all Lady like, even for lowly staff. Peggy soon corrected my views with a practical demonstration of her Female prowess on my Swift Safety, and I no
Sir, My wife, the good Lady F____, instructs me that the modern house has music played by minstrels during dinner. I set about arranging the most musical of evenings; indeed after the gentlemen retired for cigars, the music was heard to play on for many a
