You kids today think you’ve got it tough - back before the invention of the remote, we had to get a naked woman to change the channels for us. Of course, there were only 4 channels, so she had plenty of spare time to make us a sandwich.
Your roommate has always been an asshole, but you've managed to avoid him well enough. You've chosen for months not to introduce him to your girl. She's sweet, tried to surprise you but you weren't home. You get a facetime from your neighbor, odd, but you
